i cant even cry anymore

life sucks, and caring about stuff is harder than ever. My mom just said, that I never show any emotion. My face goes blank, my eyes stare into nothing and my jaw gets stiff.
guess that's my way of dealing with shit.

I have the best of friends

I'm having trouble at home, or actually, not me but my parents. Hence, I try to spend as little time as possible there. And that would hardly be possible without my lovely friends. I just hope that I'll be able to be there for them when they need me, like the way I need them now. Thanks, even though I know you don't read this.

hey

Just wanted to share this video. This boy is an Australian Youtuber and I've been subscribed to him since forever, and today he posted a video where he came out as gay (online, his friends knew that already :) )

People like him inspire me the heck out of me, and I'm really proud of him and happy for him :) Click HERE to see the video!!

well well, has it or has it not been a while?

The summer's nearly over. Oops. It has been the best summer of my life.

I've grown up.

I've lived on my own for the past two months, and it has been like the answer to my prayers. Love this.

I've actually been a bit more active in my other blog but it's for slightly different things. I like to keep this blog on a mental level, and not write here about things i do physically in my everyday life.

There's a boy. I've been crazy for him probably since the first of June. That's the day after the day that I met him. If not since that day, then since the twenty first of June. That's when a funny, unexpected thing happened with him. Too bad I was too shy to open my mouth, until two weeks from that. That's when he told me that there's a girl he might start going out with. That sucks. But I just kept pretending that I only liked him as a friend and we were quite cool about it. Then he moved into my house. Because we work in a same place, it's a bit complicated. But yeah, right now the situation is basically, that I'm irrevocably, hopelessly crazy about a boy who I live together with, who I share a damn bathroom with, who is my only friend in this country... And he's got someone else. And I'm going back to Finland in two days.

It ain't easy.

Bye

this sucks buttholes

Ever wonder how when everything's finally ok and you're happy, something'll always come and destroy everything? That leaves you with nothing.

That's exactly what I have right now. Nothing at all.

At least there's the Eurovision. Ding dong.

I'm so lucky

...and I'm not allowed to tell anyone why (yet)

that sucks.

But like a wise old man once said, keep calm and walk to the fridge.

 

 

more thoughts. Thank you internet

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

My mother never realized the irony of calling me son-of-a-bitch.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer!

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

here we go again

Did you know that Father Christmas is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?

I accidentally happened to turn seventeen last week. Pretty awesome. We had a casual wednesday alcohol party with my best friend, which was brilliant.

Today, my parents found the liquor leftovers and now I'm at my grandma's, hiding from the pain.

Just two more days til I see one of my future husbands, JB <3

I feel rather conflicted.

nerdiness

Nerds are awesome. That's a fact.

Not the teenager nerds with swag (#yolo) but like, the real ones.
With a massive knowledge about pretty much anything and strong opinions.

Once you get to know one of those weird geeky kids that never talk to their friends or anyone else, they might actually be cool.

Yes, I do have quite a few super mega geeky nerd friends.

And no, don't take the coolness for granted, just give the geeks a chance :)

oh I can see myself in so many of them...

quotes are so awesome

I was looking for a quote to put to my profile thing and whoops they all were so cool that I felt the urge to spread the word.

So, these are (supposedly) from Mr. William Shakespeare:

"If music be the food of love, play on"

That's it. And even if it isn't I don't mind listening to it.

"Expectation is the root of all heartache"

If you have too big dreams and they don't come true, it sure will hurt.

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none"

This is something to live by seriously

"The empty vessel makes the loudest sound."

Stupid people talk the most...

And here is one by Einstein that I can completely relate to:

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy;

am I or are the others crazy?"

and that's a smart ass

50 facts about me. Because I can

1. I'm a girl
2. My 17th birthday is in 10 days
3. I'm a Finn but not the stereotypical kind of a Finn.
4. I'm moving to Ireland for three months in a month and a few days
5. I own a dog
6. I'm afraid of cars when I'm walking
7. We used to have a tortoise and two fish.
8. I do horse riding
9. I work at a riding school
10. I want my future job to have something to do with psychological research
11. I'm addicted to my computer
12. Tumblr is my life
13. This is starting to grow on me now
14. I get bored really easily
15. I play the piano, the guitar, drums and bass, and I also sing
16. I can play the harmonica
17. I suck at being social
18. I say things in absolutely inappropriate places and situations
19. I have no idea what Monday's test is on
20. I've never done any drugs
21. I own a moped, which currently is broken
22. I would kill to be Lara Croft
23. Or the Home Alone boy
24. I don't own a horse but i take care of one like it was mine
25. It takes literally 5 minutes for me to fall for someone
26. It also takes no more that 5 minutes to forget the person
27. I'm really good with names.
28. Sometimes I fake forgetting peoples names so I don't seem creepy
29. I don't have a best friend, but the closest to one is a friend of mine whom I've known since I was ten and have never been in a fight with.
30. My taste in music is endless
31. You can play to me any type of music, and I 99% of the time will like even parts of it
32. My all time favourite song is Wonderwall by Oasis.
33. Even though I'm a huge fan of bands such as Metallica/Atreyu/Sleeping With Sirens I also am a directioner
34. I'm going to a Justin Bieber concert
35. I still love rock and metalcore etc
36. Sometimes I feel like my motto should be "fuck it" but at times it definitely is "fuck logic"
37. Even though I'm awkward at times, I actually like helping customers and being friendly to people.
38. No matter how outgoing I might seem, I am a total introvert.
39. My favourite 1D song is Kiss you, but I also love Irresistible and Little Things
40. Ed Sheeran should be my husband
41. When me and Ed finally ged married, one of the songs at our wedding will be Ed Sheeran's Little Bird
42. I cried when I saw Jenna Marbles' Draw My Life video
43. Olly Murs is amazing
44. My favourite Olly Murs song is What a Buzz
45. I don't like bananas
46. I love pickled cucumber
47. I have an iPhone but it's broken
48. I would love to have a pet monkey
49. I'm scared of swans
50. This sucked ass.

Jesus christ superstar that was hard.